30 Days of Harry Potter (days 21-30)

21. Favorite magical creature

by default I’d say mermaids and unicorns (they’re tied for me). but um, I think I’ll go with phoenixes.

22. Have you ever been to a midnight showing of a movie

haha, I actually just got back from one. this was my second time going to a midnight showing; I went for the sixth movie as well.

23. Favorite Dursley

Dudley. he actually acknowledges the fact that Harry saved his life. that’s more than either Petunia or Vernon ever did.

24. Who is your favorite professor at Hogwarts

Lupin. I love him.

25. Which character do you think they did the best job casting for the movies

I love Luna. she’s hilarious. and Hermione is amazing. Emma Watson has become truly amazing. and Bellatrix Lestrange. holy crap. Helena Bonham Carter takes the cake. she’s awesome. but as a whole, I think the movies are cast really well. I still don’t like Michael Gambon that much, but seeing as Richard Harris died, well, there’s no helping that.

26. Does it bother you that the movies differ from the books

eh, sometimes. it really bothers me when the change something drastically, but most of the time I understand that they can’t put everything into the movies. I think the movie that pissed me off the most with the changes that were made was the 6th one. the Burrow scene with Bellatrix and Greyback was completely unnecessary.

27. What movie have you watched the most

I honestly don’t know. the 6th one is definitely the one that I’ve watched the least, I know that much. I’d probably say either the 2nd or the 4th one is the one I’ve seen the most. I’ve pretty much memorized the whole of Chamber of Secrets and Goblet of Fire is my favorite, so one of those for sure.

28. Have you ever been to the WWoHP, if not do you plan on it

no, but I would LOVE to go!

29. What would be the first thing you’d buy at the Twins’ joke shop

quite honestly, probably love potions haha. but I think the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder would be super fun to have

30. Top 3 favorite scenes from the series

3. the first bathroom scene when they’re brewing Polyjuice Potion in the girls’ lavatory in Chamber of Secrets. I just remember seeing it for the first time and thinking “Dang, Ron looks so hot.”

2. the Department of Mysteries scene in Order of the Phoenix. it’s wicked.

1. the whole of destroying-the-locket-horcrux scene in Deathly Hallows Part 1; I think it was very artfully done and well acted. I love it.

30 Days of Harry Potter (days 11-20)

11. Is there a character you didn’t like in the books, but loved in the movies or vice-versa

well I love Dumbledore in the books and I LOVED him in the first two movies, but I really don’t care for Michael Gambon as Dumbledore. I mean there was really no helping it as Richard Harris died, but still. oh! I like Fleur and Krum in the books (as annoying as they are) but I really don’t like them at all in the movies. at all.

12. Least favorite character

Dolores Jane Umbridge. she is repulsive. they cast her pretty well in Order of the Phoenix though, I hate her even more in the movie. I really just wish that I could go into the books and strangle her, she’s simply awful.

13. Favorite location from the movies

um, well, if you’re talking actual LOCATION, then I’m going to say when they were at The Cliffs of Dover for the Quidditch World Cup in the 4th movie. but if you’re just saying set, then I’m going to say everything related to the Ministry of Magic. it’s incredible.

14. If you could work at any place in Hogsmeade which would it be

I’m going to say The Three Broomsticks just because I think it would be fun :)

15. 5 parts of the Deathly Hallows movies (1&2) that you’re looking forward to the most

• the scene where Harry, Ron, and Hermione infiltrate the Ministry and get Slytherin’s locket from Umbridge.
• the scene where Ron comes back, saves Harry, and kills the horcrux
• the Gringotts scene
• the scene where they’re in the Room of Requirement
• and when Harry goes to see Voldemort in the woods. I think I’m going to lose it. I’ll be bawling the whole time.

16. If you could ask your favorite character one thing what would it be

Ronald Bilius Weasley, will you marry me?

17. What would your Patronus be

if it was possible, probably a mermaid. if not, maybe a swan? or at least some type of peaceful bird.

18. What book have you read the most

um, I really have no idea, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read them all. but the fourth and fifth ones are the ones I’ve read the least, I know that much. I’ve read them all about 3 or 4 times. (I actually talked to Seth about this the other night haha)

19. If you had to date a character who would it be

is this even a real question? it would be Ron of course :)

20. What would a boggart turn into in front of you

I really don’t know. probably a spider. spiders freak me out.

30 Days of Harry Potter (days 1-10) started Oct. 29, 2010

1. Top three favorite characters & why

• Ronald Weasley. he’s a ginger. I love gingers. but really, I just like him in general. he’s hilarious and Harry’s best friend and it was totally obvious from the beginning that he and Hermione were meant to be together.
• Severus Snape. he was in love with Lily. I will always be a fan of unrequited love. I just love that he turned out to be a good guy in the end.
• I don’t really know who my third would be, there are so many good ones. I guess I’ll go with Kreacher & Dobby (as a unit). Dobby was with Harry all along and I bawled when he died. and Kreacher really was a good house elf and played a key role and I’m glad he also turned out to be good.

2. Did it take awhile for you to get into the series, or did you immediately fall in love

well my aunt bought me The Sorcerer’s Stone for my 10th birthday and I started the first chapter but I wasn’t really into reading so I never finished it. almost a year later I started reading it again and didn’t stop. I fell in love for life. and it’s thanks to Harry Potter that I now love to read.

3. Favorite villian & why

I’m going to say Snape, even though in the end he wasn’t a villian at all, but you thought he was for almost 7 books. he’s just so, amazing. he’s harsh and particularly nasty to Harry, but only because he was James Potter’s son, not his own. he was in love with Lily and in the end it was partly because of that love that Voldemort was finally finished.

4. I know you love them all, but list all of the books in order from favorite to least favorite

1. Deathly Hallows
2. Half-Blood Prince
3. Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Goblet of Fire
5. Sorcerer’s Stone
6. Chamber of Secrets
7. Order of the Phoenix

5. Which of the deaths did you have the hardes time with

honestly, probably Dobby’s. I absolutely bawled when he died. but I didn’t cry when Dumbledore died. what’s wrong with me, right? I also was pretty upset when everybody died at the end of the 7th. gah.

6. One of your favorite quotes

The only thing I can think of off the top of my head right now is

“Give her hell for us, Peeves”

when the Weasley twins leave Hogwarts in The Order of the Phoenix.

7. Your favorite movie

well as of right now it’s the 4th one, but I’m hoping that will change with the 7th and 8th ones.

8. Anything you’d change in the epilogue

I don’t think I would change anything. maybe just that Neville and Luna were together, but everyone was with who the needed to be with so I was pleased with it.

9. What would be your favorite class at Hogwarts

hmm, probably Quidditch. isn’t that like their p.e.? haha. um, but besides that, probably Transfiguration or Charms. definitely not History of Magic since the teacher sucks, but if the teacher was good, I’d definitely say that class. I love me some history :)

10. The cloak, the wand, or the stone

I’d definitely go with the cloak. I’d love to be invisible haha. there’s way too much power that comes with the wand and nobody really close to me has died, so I really have no use for the stone.

love letter.

11/26/10

jerry,
You drive me mad. Everything you say, I just want more. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in love with you and I realize that it's completely illogical, but since when did love and logic have anything to do with each other? Part of me hopes that once you read this (granted I actually send this) you'll realize how much you love me too. But that's just the hopeless romantic in me that won't die, no matter how many times I try to kill it, (and believe me, I've tried). I'm hoping this won't change our relationship as friends, but I have an awful premonition it will.
I think I have this complex of wanting to fix people, to show them that someone really does care, but with the selfish hope that they'll maybe fall in love with me. And let's be honest, it's worked out so well for me in the past. I blame no one but myself (and the media of course), but it's 99% me. I just want to love people, it's all I've wanted since I was 3.
And I told you this, I'd rather fight with you than not talk to you at all. You mean the world to me and I don't think you realize that. I want your ups and your downs, your good and your bad, your beautiful days and your ugly ones, and everything in between.
I've also to you this before, I was immediately drawn to you from the moment I walked into Melissa's bedroom and met you for the first time. And we talked about handsoap that day, and I have to tell you that everytime I see Bath&Body Works pineapple handsoap I think of you. I know these feelings are all one-sided, you told me that last time I tried to explain how I felt, so it's, well it is what it is. I really do miss our middle of the night phone calls though, there were some of my favorite moments this year.
I know that I must seem to be out of my mind and I probably am. There's so much more I want to say but I can't find the right words, so I'll leave it at this. I love you. End of fucking story.

:|] (^^^),
candace

p.s. this took me 50 minutes to write and it probably took you about two minutes to read and now you'll probably stop talking to me. oh well. "live, grow, move on. be human once again."

sethulum. 11/13/10

girl 10:42am: Good mornin'

boy 11:23am: Yo candy ice!

girl 11:24am: Haha. So my aunt's thing is at 6, and i can't imagine it going past 8

boy 11:25am: 8 it is:)

girl 11:27am: Want me to meet you at your house?

boy 11:34am: I'll let you know later on, i might get my mothers car

girl 11:35am: Alrighty. Imma go watch harry potter now, so i'll talk to you later :)

boy 11:35am: Nice! Latas on the menjays!

girl 11:36am: Menjays??

boy 11:37am: Haha It's from i love you man!

girl 11:39am: Oh okay. Now that you say that it makes more sense haha

boy 11:40am: Haha i bet, It's a strange saying

girl 11:40am: Tis haha. Good movie though

boy 11:52am: My favorite comedy. When's your birthday candizzle?

girl 11:53am: It was this past tuesday, why?

boy 11:54am: Because I remember it being recent. Sorry i missed.... Happy belated birthday!

girl 11:56am: Haha don't worry about it. Last year my dad called me on the wrong day. And thank you sethula

boy 11:57am: Haha That's nuts! So you were pretty young when you graduated huh?

girl 12:00pm: Yeah, i was barely 17 and a 1/2. I was 4 when I started kindergarten

boy 12:01pm: Dang! Haha

girl 12:03pm: Yeah, around most of my friends i'm the baby of the group, but when i'm around you and eva and ginger, et al, i feel ancient haha

boy 12:04pm: I'll try to be as old as i can tonight ;)

girl 12:07pm: Haha well i won't blame you if you aren't, i wouldn't mind being 17 again haha

boy 12:11pm: Haha yeah, from what i've heard the world is tough haha

girl 12:12pm: :P it is, but i love it all the same :)

boy 12:15pm: Yeah, if it helps i cannot wait for high school to end

girl 12:24pm: I was terrified of it ending until probably halfway through first semester of senior year then i couldn't wait. But now that i'm out i wish i could go back knowing what i know now

boy 12:25pm: Yeah i hear that all the time haha i'm sue it's going to happen to me

girl 12:26pm: It will, never fear haha

boy 12:26pm: Haha dang, i guess that's life eh?

girl 12:29pm: It is, and it's tough :P i hate that as soon as you realize something it really doesn't make a difference because you can't go back. I wish we had timeturners

boy 12:37pm: This is a depressing conversation haha

girl 12:38pm: Sorry! Haha. Something super exciting: harry potter comes out in 6 days!

boy 12:39pm: Something more exciting is that i get to see it two days before FO FREE!

girl 12:41pm: Seth! I'm so jealous! I'm going to midnight showing, so it's almost as good haha

boy 12:42pm: Almost. Just you'll be tired and $8.50 will be out of your wallet

girl 12:45pm: yeah, i'll be rather exhausted but i will have jusee seen harry freaking potter so i'll probably be on a high from that and i'll be awake for awhile haha. As for the money thing, well yeah, but that can't be helped haha

boy 12:47pm: I win!!

girl 12:49pm: Only because you work at a movie theater. It wasn't a fair fight

boy 1:04pm: Actually you win, because the free movies are not worth it when you work there haha

girl 1:09pm: Haha. We'll call this one a tie then?

boy 1:12pm: Agreed

girl 1:13pm: :) well now that we got sidetracked again, i'm gonna watch harry potter for reals this time :)

boy 1:17pm: Haha do it! Talk to ya later

girl 1:17pm: Farewell :)

----

girl 4:48pm: So my mum said we'd probably be done between 8:30 and 9. Is that okay?

boy 4:49pm: Cool beans

girl 4:52pm: I'll let you know when i've managed to escape haha

boy 4:52pm: Haha okay awesome

----

boy 8:32pm: Almost tizzime?

girl 8:34pm: Gah, i freakin hope so. I rode with my parents, i should've come separately. Cake and presents are through with, so i'm hoping super soon

boy 8:34pm: Want me to pick you up?

girl 8:36pm: Here or at mi casa?

boy 8:38pm: Okay so, my mom said i could have the car but she doesn't want me to take it to chcio, so i could pick you up wherever you're at then we could go to your place and pick up your car, you down? Haha

girl 8:40pm: My mom wants me to wait. How about when i go home i just come pick you up?

boy 8:41pm: Haha okay, do you know how long?

girl 8:42pm: My mom said a few a minutes and it takes us about 10 minutes to get home and then i'll be on my way. So maybe 30 minutes?

boy 8:46pm: Hmmm... I hate to say this, but it may be too late, i'd have to be back home at like 11 or 1130 because i'm super lame and young haha. What if we postponed our hang out session?

girl 8:48pm: Actually my mom said it's fine if you wanna come pick me up right now

boy 8:48pm: Haha okay awesome! Where at?

girl 8:49pm: [insert address here]

boy 8:50pm: Can i call you for directions? Haha

roboshark. November 23, 2010

(^^^) 12:11pm: I had an interesting/weird dream about you again last night haha

:|] 1:04pm: Weird

(^^^) 1:07pm: You've no idea.

:|] 1:20pm: Spill it

(^^^) 1:47pm: It's long, so fair warning. I worked at Safeway with you and a bunch of other people I know. Something happened that was caught on camera (somebody was tied to a chair or something) and our boss thought we did something illegal so she was going to fire all of us. We tried to explain that n othing happened but she didn't really believe any of us. the she asked you and someone else to go outside with her and you said "Well if I'm going outside I think Candace should come too." I was pissed because I thought you were blaming me and trying to get me fired. Then when we got outside and the boss was yelling at us, you wrapped me up in your arms and told me that you weren't going to let anything bad happen to me (even though you had no control over the boss' final decision). And then out of nowhere you kissed me and it was a really awkward kiss and the only thing I could think was "Well, Jerry's number 9, I'm happy about that." And then it was later in the dream and you were talking to some people and I went over to say hi, but you completely ignored me.

:|] 1:51pm: :( that went everywhere. Ugh kindof a bad dream

(^^^) 1:54pm: I didn't think so... Well I suppose it kind of was, but I didn't focus on those parts

:|] 1:56pm: Yeah.. Detailed again though

(^^^) 1:59pm: Always. Told you :P there was more (end of the world, prison, saving my grandma) but I figured I'd leave that out haha

:|] 2:00pm: Hahaha oh okay.

(^^^) 2:09pm: :) so needless to say it was weird

:|] 2:28pm: Pretty weird.

(^^^) 2:38pm: What can I say? I have a very active imagination haha. You ever seen Love Actually?

:|] 3:46pm: I have not. Is it a romantic comedy?

(^^^) 3:58pm: More comedy than romance, but yes

:|] 4:21pm: I think i may have a bit. Do you like it a lot?

(^^^) 4:33pm: It's one of my favorite movies of all time. Definitely my favorite Christmas-time movie

:|] 6:06pm: Oh wow. Sounds like i should give it a try yeah?

(^^^) 6:07pm: Please do! It's hilarious has so many great people in it

by Jon Rawlinson

song: Please Don't Go by Barcelona


I don't really know why, but this song and video make me want to cry. but in a good way.

friday nov. twelve - saturday nov. thirteen

boy 10:37pm: You!

girl 10:38pm: You! What's up ma boy?

boy 10:40pm: I just got back from the corning vs pv game haha

girl 10:40pm: Oh fun. Who won?

boy 10:43pm: Pv, it was our bye week because we're the bomb diggati/the number one seed and we play the winner of that game, which was Pv

girl 10:44pm: You gonna win that one?

boy 10:49pm: You know it! So what's going on, i'm really sorry i haven't been talking to you lately, my bad totally

girl 10:52pm: Good, that's what i like to hear! Um, well currently i just now finished watching the imaginarium of doctor parnassus (amazing btw), but more generally i've just been working and moving. I'm having a hard time being 20 actually, i don't like it at all. How've you been dear?

boy 10:57pm: The world is a tough place eh? So where you moving again? On your own or with your mom? And i've been pretty grand, the band has been practicin quite a bit :D

girl 11:00pm: Haha yeah, it is, but oh well. I wish i was moving out, but i need a decent job and no hospital bills for that. We're moving by where eva used to live, kind of on the back of tony's (from what i hear). Yay! Does that mean that i'll actually get to take your pictures sometime soon?

boy 11:03pm: Hospital bills? Oh you'll be so close to tony's! Walking distance actually. Also, yes pretty soon we'll get some pictures done :) football just needs to end haha. Just another week and a half!

girl 11:09pm: Yeah, from my alcohol poisoning last year, remember? That means we'll hang out more then, right? Being so close and all? Haha. yay! I'm excited, i've been having photographic withdrawals hahaha. ANNND i got a bunch of film for my birthday so i'll bring out some of my film babies ;)

boy 11:14pm: Haha film babies... Also yes, we should hang out more please, not just because you'll live by tony, but because we need to. And i forgot about that! I'm glad you are sober now. And we will take pictures soon!

girl 11:20pm: We do need to hang out more, just because you're fun haha. And i still need to make you some milk chocolate chip cookies :) yeah, i'm glad i'm sober now too, i almost feel like drinking is a form of cheating at life. I don't know if that makes sense or not haha. And i'm really looking forward to ze pictures. How's the music coming along anyway?

boy 11:30pm: I think you're fun so i completely agree. And i actually do understand. The band is going great! It feels right for sure

girl 11:32pm: Hoorah! And i'm glad that somebody kind of gets it at least :) good, i'm really glad, it's so great when things feel right.

boy 11:34pm: Haha for sure:) you going to the game friday?

girl 11:35pm: I definitely will be :) it's up here right?

boy 11:37: Yes mam :)

girl 11:39pm: Awesome :) I will definitely there to support you then ma dear boy. But maybe throw the ball once in awhile this time? :P

boy 11:41pm: Haha well my dad calls the shots... But paradise is a running offense, especially in the rain haha

girl 11:43pm: Is it supposed to rain? And tell your dad that candace parker requests a few extra throws please haha

boy 11:45pm: Haha i will :) and yes it might rain :(

girl 11:47pm: Well then i'll just have to come decked out in ma raingear then won't i? Haha. I love the rain

boy 11:48pm: Do it! I do too actually :) just no durin football...

girl 11:50pm: Well yeah haha. Just look at it as an excuse to get extra dirty. that was always my favorite part of sports

boy 11:51pm: Yeah, i would like it, but it sucks to take snaps when the ball is wet and throwing of course

girl 11:52pm: Fair enough. I'll just make for an interesting game then ;) assuming that it rains of course haha

boy 11:55pm: Yes for sure haha what are your plans tomorrow?

girl 11:56pm: Nada, pourquoi? I mean i have my aunt's birthday dinner, but other than that i'm free as a bird

boy 11:58pm: We should totally hang out!

girl 11:58pm: What do you wanna do? :)

boy 12:02am: Let's go hang out in chico or somethin, we'll figure out what to do haha

girl 12:03am: Hahaha alright. One car or two?

boy 12:05am: One car! Not only is my car broken, gas will be saved, and it's just not as fun to go in two

girl 12:06am: True statement haha. So i'll pick you up then?

boy 12:10am: Sorry that the last message did not make sense haha. But might get my mom's car, so I'll let you know. What time is your aunts dinner?

girl 12:11am: Oh okay :) ummm, i think it's at either 6 or 7 probably

boy 12:11am: You wanna go before or after?

girl 12:14am: What works better for you? I don't think my aunt's thing should be more than a couple of hours

boy 12:15am: Hmmm, after sounds good?

girl 12:18am: Sounds fabulous my dear. Should we have a general time so i can skedattle if need be?

boy 12:20am: When's the earliest you can leave, the earlier the better:)

girl 12:23am: I really don't know. I'll find out in the morning , and let you know then :)

boy 12:27am: Thank you muchly :)

girl 12:29am: You're welcome muchly. Well i'm gonna read some harry potter and get some shut eye. I'll to you in the morning. Sleep well :)

boy 12:30am: Mee too! Night kid

girl 12:31am: Omg, you do the "kid" thing too?! Hahahaha :P

boy 12:34am: Haha i like sayin it

girl 12:35am: I do too actually. Only i generally say it to someone who actually is younger than i am :P

boy 12:36am: Well i like sayin it to girls haha

girl 12:38am: Hahaha why??

boy 12:40am: Because That's what the used to say in the 20s haha i really like it. don't make fun! I'm really into the 20s...

girl 12:42am: I'm not making fun :) i'm a fan of the '20s as well. Plus, that's the decade my grandparents were born

boy 12:43am: That's so cool!!

girl 12:43am: Right? I love my g-rents haha

boy 12:44am: haha i love mine too, though they grew up in the 30s, still cool:)

girl 12:46am: Definitely. My grandparents are the oldest ones i know of, all my friends have really young ones, so i'm glad that you're kinda sorta in the same boat i'm in :)

boy 12:48am: Well my dad's mom is only 70 haha and if my dad's dad was still alive he'd be 80. But my mom's parents are both 80.

girl 12:52am: Well okay, you're like half in my boat. My mom's adoptive parents are 87 and 83, but her biological mom is only 70 somethin. My dad's mom died this year, but she was young, and i've no clue how old my dad's dad is

boy 12:54am: Well i'm really glad we shared our family tree:) but it's time definitely time to sleep/read harry potter

girl 12:55am: Hahah agreed, sorry to have kept you up considerably longer than intended. Goodnight :)

boy 12:56am: Well you shouldn't be sorry because i enjoyed the extra talk so very much, night kid ;)

girl 12:57am: As did i :) adieu

boy 12:58am: Au revoir

girl 12:58am: :)

sethula

fantastic night. I love real life.

November 1-2, 2010. roboshark.

:|] 12:43 am: Hey i missed yer chat. Whats up

(^^^) 1:24am: I was just wondering if there would be a celebration video surfacing anytime soon?

:|] 1:25am: Haha. I dont think so. Itd be forced. And i was too busy doing my own celebrating haha

(^^^) 1:27am: Thats understandable then, but i cant deny that i am mildly saddened. Im definitely glad they won, i just wish they coulda done it in san francisco

:|] 1:29am: Me too miss parker. But they dominated this team. No need to go back home. They are flying in soon

(^^^) 1:36am: Yeah they did, it was almost pathetic. I guess i would have liked a nail biter but im glad they won nonetheless

:|] 1:39am: I certainly would not have liked yet another nailbiter. The whole year candace..the whole year was a nail biter...

(^^^) 1:47am: Yeah, but still, i like suspense. Granted it usually stresses me out, but i like it haha.

:|] 1:51am: After literally 160 plus games of suspense im okay with pure domination. Out of giants nature. and suspense is sexy. Nonetheless. Its over. And they win.

(^^^) 1:55am: Suspense is sexy? Do elaborate. Please. (Thats a crap ton of games, didnt realize it was that many, so i guess knowing that im a bit happier they won this so quickly)

:|] 1:59am: Baseballs a long season. Suspense sells like sex.

(^^^) 2:02am: Well i knew that, i just didnt realize it was THAT long. Never thought about it like that, but i guess it. I suppose thats why i like suspense then :P

:|] 2:06am: Suspense has all those hissing s letters too. Has to be aesthetic. Somehow... I dont know. MAN! giants are fucking champs. Im content

(^^^) 2:10am: Hahaha well it makes sense to me. Yeah, they are, pretty sick :) now if you could only turn that contentment into happiness... No matter, giants freaking one. Hell yeah.

:|] 2:12am: Happiness is difficult to fathom at this age. Gratifications more popular. Common. things make me happy for a period of time..

(^^^) 2:17am: Well then stop looking for THINGS to make you happy, turn to people, or at least something of value. Our generation is all about instant gratification, about whats bigger and better. We need to take a step back and start enjoying the little things. And good things come to those who wait, according to the old saying; we need to get our patience back

:|] 2:21am: Your optimism is mixed with something i basically deemed phony and regurgitated. Thats me though i dont think anything less of you because of it.

(^^^) 2:23am: Im sorry, i didnt mean for it to be. I just want you to be happy is all.

:|] 2:23am: I know u do candace

(^^^) 2:27am: :/ im pretty sure im having deja vu right now. This is weird. Anyway, reading that text i can totally see how that came across as phony and regurgitated, i probably would have thought the same if somebody had said it to me

:|] 2:32am: Noo. Well ya but i just know to forgive the past and work for me. For now i guess u know. My brain isnt capable of this but im fine with avoiding this beta melodrama i have with people. I blame film and being a mamas boy hahaha

(^^^) 2:38am: Hahaha, two very good scape goats in my opinion. Especially the former. I think that i would have loved to have lived in the early 20th century before the advent of most technology, but they still had cameras at least :) and sorry for the extra regurgitated phoniness haha

:|] 2:40am: Its okay. I will find something genuine, that i wont sell out for, that ultimately will make this permanent happy more a reality.

(^^^) 2:44am: :) i sure as hell hope so. I know ive only told you the one time, but i really do love you jerry. I just want whats best for you, including a normal sleeping pattern :P

:|] 2:46am: Speaking of which im going to bed

(^^^) 2:47am: I am too. You always managed to keep me awake much longer than i was intending to. Goodnight jerry

:|] 2:48am: Sorry candace. Im not that interesting.

(^^^) 2:49am: Dont be sorry. Youre sort of amazing in my opinion

:|] 2:50am: Fucking how? Im not. No

(^^^) 2:52am: Shut up jerry. Yes you are. Youre wonderful. Youre one of the very few people that i actually genuinely enjoy talking to about more important things that "whats up?"

:|] 2:54am: Night candace

(^^^) 2:54am: Night jerry :|]

tony > anberlin

as much as it pained me that I couldn't go to see anberlin in San Francisco tonight, I'm kind of glad that I didn't :)

I need to become the type of person that I have a lot of respect for. I need to try harder.

I want the first half of this.

Joe Houseworth was over tonight and he was telling my mom this story of one of his co-workers while I was frosting some cupcakes:
she had taken her car in to some car shop to get something or other, and he was working behind the counter, saw her, walked over to her and asked her if she was single. and she was. he proceeded to ask her out to dinner, and on their second date he proposed. he said that she was the one he had been waiting for all his life. they were only married for five years when he had a massive heart attack and died.
it's as beautiful a story as it is tragic.

July 23-24, 2010. roboshark.

3:11 am (^^^) : This is my random question of the night: whats i like to be in love?

1:46 pm :] : In hindsight a blissful embarassment. So really i dont know what its like.

8:07 pm (^^^) : Have any feel-better-quick fixes?

11:04 pm (^^^) : So do you actually sleep nowadays?

11:08 pm :] : Quick fix is distractions. And i certainly try. I worked file maintenance this week was @ work 2am to ten the last two days

11:20 pm :] : That question wasnt as random in you branch from it with another question..

11:29 pm (^^^) : Coincidence is whtat that was. Ive just been in a funk all day and i dont get it. And i have been distracting myself. I spontaneously turned around to take picture while i was driving home; when i got home the first thing i did was the dishes even though i didnt eat; i read a magazine in my computer chair that i havent sat in in months; and now im starting to plan out your mix. I havent felt this way in years and i absolutely hate it. And im glad that youre at least trying to sleep these days

11:36 pm :] : Im sorry candace...

11:37 pm (^^^) : No need to be sorry, this too shall pass. So how are you?

11:43 pm :] : C.f has been busy. So much that im almost obsessed with it and nothing else. Its pretty rad not caring about anything else.

11:44 pm :] : And family of course.

11:55 pm (^^^) : I almost wish i could be the same way right now. I hardly spend much time w my family anymore though which kind of sucks. Im gonna be brazenly open right now whereyou like it or not (ha). I feel as though i have been given many empathetic lemons in my lifetime but the one dealing w love have never fully been thrown my way. Ive only gotten half of the love lemon (wow this metaphor sucks haha) in the sense that ive theoretically been in love and i love my friends to death, but ive never been in the type of relationship where nothing else matters, just the love you have for each other. I guess what im getting at is the fact that im feeling incomplete and left out for the simple fact that a lot of my friends come to me w their relationship problems and (11:57 pm) Theres nothing i can really do/say for/to them anymore. I can only tell them what seems to be the right thing when in actuality i have no freaking clue. I dont know why i bothered to explain all of that. Im sorry.

12:09 am :] : Getting 8 texts was fun. Haha. To me candace a craft is an honest love. Anything. Im not fit right now for this fabricated sense of continuity in another. It makes little sense and frankly im not chemically able to handle it, i panic. So even though ive had a relationship i know little. Probably the same as you. My advice isnt..great.

12:22 am (^^^) : Im not ready either by any means but that doesnt mean that i feel any less blase about it all. Im determined to have my own shit together before i complicate it with anyone elses. And at this rate that will be years seeing as i still have those hospital bills and only 4 dollars in my bank account at the moment. And for the most part i am 100% cool with that but seeing former classmates getting married and whatnot kind of dampens my spirits. I love my friends and i love my life, i really do, but ive been feeling as though this integral part of me has been missing for quite some time now.

12:31 am :] : Hmm. An optimist in grief is strange. Literally lost you are.... Its okay candace. You are quite the human being. No doubt someone knows it from afar

12:35 am (^^^) : I hope so haha. Thanks for listening, cant tell you how much i appreciate it.

-------------

12:50 am (^^^) : Why else would i be asking so many musical questions? Haha

12:51 am :] : Dude you ask a lot of questions.

12:52 am (^^^) : Well sorry! :P would you rather i be a post?

12:53 am :] : A..post? Like a lamp post?

12:54 am (^^^) : Yes, like the one in narnia haha. So maybe you would rather me be THAT post lol

12:55 am :] : Yes for sure. Or a powerline post. Because then ud be actually a good use OH! Torched your ass

12:58 am (^^^) : Hahaha rude! But slightly true hehe. And maybe if you got too close i could electrocute you. I like where this is going haha

1:00 am :] : Me electrocuted is where u want this to go. Bitch.

1:02 am (^^^) : Hahahaha what can i say? You said id be more useful as a power line post jerk. And i wouldnt want to kill you, just vie you a good jolt and a good story

1:22 am :] : Hah indeed but u suggested u be a post.

1:27 am (^^^) : So i wouldnt ask you any questions :P

1:30 am :] : No the question was u think i should be a post? Question. Hah. Its always sunny is a great show. Man im not tired.

1:32 am (^^^) : Oh shut up jerry. Ive never watched it. Whats it about?

I am fairly sure that my knees are numb. along with my feet. One Mile was a tad chillier than expected tonight.

is it stupid that all I'd really like to do is lie next to you and talk all night?

to answer my own question, yes, it is.
but you're beautiful and don't even realize it. you don't give yourself enough credit.

I think that there will always be a part of me that likes the whole idea of unrequited love and it's like I can describe it, but I can't actually pinpoint the reason. it kind of makes some sort of sense in my mind, but not in reality.

and I also like the idea of someone being broken and putting them back together. I think I like it for selfish reasons though. to be able to say that I helped them, that I was the one that fixed them. but at the same time, I want them to be whole again, to be happy, truly happy.

I also have this stupid fantasy that when I meet someone I'll just know that they're the one. but I have this other fantasy that kind of contradicts the previous one: that I'm good friends with someone for a long time and then one day we just realize that we're in love with each other.

my thoughts are jumbled and incoherent.

most interesting 24 hours ever. in a nutshell. (as told to Olivia)

May 8, 2010 6am - May 9, 2010 6am

worked, got my cute lil' dress that my g-ma shortened, Isaiah's grandma (aka the love of my life's g-ma) let my grandma borrow some of her cat books, hung out with my mom/had her do my hurr, took Eva, Kaya, Max, and Seth's prom pictures at One Mile, went to Outback for a family dinner, went to Talia's birthday party (MUCH better than I thought it'd be), went to a sausage fest party (left after like 5 minutes) with Nich and his friends, then Nich's friend Dave (he was GONE) and I met Eva and Seth at Winco, got some candy, went to Walmart and played hide and go see (there are pictures), dropped Dave off downtown, then I texted Sam and was like "Are you busy?" haha and he said that he and his friend Phil were planning on going to Jack's "in a little bit" so I parked in the Safeway parking lot and read some Lemony Snicket while I waited for them to tell me they were headed to Jack's, had an entertaining meal with the two of them, then I dropped Phil off at his house, Sam and I went to Upper Bidwell (it was past 3 in the morning at this point mind you) and long story short, we were makin out under the stars in the middle of a field on a blanket, oh, and he broke me glassies.

quotes I don't want to forget

+ if there is no friction, then there is no balance
+ the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed
+ do not force yourself to fall in love, love is something designed by our maker it comes in due time, and in due season
+ be human, be vulnerable, be real, be hurt, be rational, be flexible, learn, grow, move on. be human once again.
-Stephen Christian

+ "finding" out who you are cannot happen when you are only being what you think different groups of people will like.
-Camille Young

+ God is an author... an artist... a magician...
+ best of all, God is a romantic.
+ the kingdom of God makes most sense to childlike hearts.
+ restore and protect your heart, the wellspring of life.
- Parker Young

so I don't forget

http://www.animeseason.com/tsubasa-chronicle-episode-1

"your capacity for good isnt even known to me yet

you could be good for much more"

long time no see

I haven't posted on here in 3 1/2 months. crazy. I think I'd like to get back into it. :)