July 23-24, 2010. roboshark.

3:11 am (^^^) : This is my random question of the night: whats i like to be in love?

1:46 pm :] : In hindsight a blissful embarassment. So really i dont know what its like.

8:07 pm (^^^) : Have any feel-better-quick fixes?

11:04 pm (^^^) : So do you actually sleep nowadays?

11:08 pm :] : Quick fix is distractions. And i certainly try. I worked file maintenance this week was @ work 2am to ten the last two days

11:20 pm :] : That question wasnt as random in you branch from it with another question..

11:29 pm (^^^) : Coincidence is whtat that was. Ive just been in a funk all day and i dont get it. And i have been distracting myself. I spontaneously turned around to take picture while i was driving home; when i got home the first thing i did was the dishes even though i didnt eat; i read a magazine in my computer chair that i havent sat in in months; and now im starting to plan out your mix. I havent felt this way in years and i absolutely hate it. And im glad that youre at least trying to sleep these days

11:36 pm :] : Im sorry candace...

11:37 pm (^^^) : No need to be sorry, this too shall pass. So how are you?

11:43 pm :] : C.f has been busy. So much that im almost obsessed with it and nothing else. Its pretty rad not caring about anything else.

11:44 pm :] : And family of course.

11:55 pm (^^^) : I almost wish i could be the same way right now. I hardly spend much time w my family anymore though which kind of sucks. Im gonna be brazenly open right now whereyou like it or not (ha). I feel as though i have been given many empathetic lemons in my lifetime but the one dealing w love have never fully been thrown my way. Ive only gotten half of the love lemon (wow this metaphor sucks haha) in the sense that ive theoretically been in love and i love my friends to death, but ive never been in the type of relationship where nothing else matters, just the love you have for each other. I guess what im getting at is the fact that im feeling incomplete and left out for the simple fact that a lot of my friends come to me w their relationship problems and (11:57 pm) Theres nothing i can really do/say for/to them anymore. I can only tell them what seems to be the right thing when in actuality i have no freaking clue. I dont know why i bothered to explain all of that. Im sorry.

12:09 am :] : Getting 8 texts was fun. Haha. To me candace a craft is an honest love. Anything. Im not fit right now for this fabricated sense of continuity in another. It makes little sense and frankly im not chemically able to handle it, i panic. So even though ive had a relationship i know little. Probably the same as you. My advice isnt..great.

12:22 am (^^^) : Im not ready either by any means but that doesnt mean that i feel any less blase about it all. Im determined to have my own shit together before i complicate it with anyone elses. And at this rate that will be years seeing as i still have those hospital bills and only 4 dollars in my bank account at the moment. And for the most part i am 100% cool with that but seeing former classmates getting married and whatnot kind of dampens my spirits. I love my friends and i love my life, i really do, but ive been feeling as though this integral part of me has been missing for quite some time now.

12:31 am :] : Hmm. An optimist in grief is strange. Literally lost you are.... Its okay candace. You are quite the human being. No doubt someone knows it from afar

12:35 am (^^^) : I hope so haha. Thanks for listening, cant tell you how much i appreciate it.

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12:50 am (^^^) : Why else would i be asking so many musical questions? Haha

12:51 am :] : Dude you ask a lot of questions.

12:52 am (^^^) : Well sorry! :P would you rather i be a post?

12:53 am :] : A..post? Like a lamp post?

12:54 am (^^^) : Yes, like the one in narnia haha. So maybe you would rather me be THAT post lol

12:55 am :] : Yes for sure. Or a powerline post. Because then ud be actually a good use OH! Torched your ass

12:58 am (^^^) : Hahaha rude! But slightly true hehe. And maybe if you got too close i could electrocute you. I like where this is going haha

1:00 am :] : Me electrocuted is where u want this to go. Bitch.

1:02 am (^^^) : Hahahaha what can i say? You said id be more useful as a power line post jerk. And i wouldnt want to kill you, just vie you a good jolt and a good story

1:22 am :] : Hah indeed but u suggested u be a post.

1:27 am (^^^) : So i wouldnt ask you any questions :P

1:30 am :] : No the question was u think i should be a post? Question. Hah. Its always sunny is a great show. Man im not tired.

1:32 am (^^^) : Oh shut up jerry. Ive never watched it. Whats it about?