nice little "reprimandum"

http://i777.photobucket.com/albums/yy57/parkerampersand/Candaces_Reprimandum2.jpg
hate my managers sometimes, well mostly just Mary and Terry. they're so unqualified to be in management positions. and I love how they basically say "we don't mind you socializing, just don't do it." they blame all of this on our talking which is absolute bullshit. actually they claimed that we got out late because "Ryan and [I] were talking the whole time" when in actuality Becca was just being ridiculously slow. the only thing I did wrong was that I forgot to get the menus out of the holders because I completely spaced out about them because I was already in the middle of doing something else when I asked Mary what she wanted me to do with them. and poor Ryan got a 20 minute "talking to" about his poor work performance as well. which is beyond bullshit. he got out late because he inherited Neal's leftover mess (it was Neal's first time dishwashing by himself so obviously he's gonna be behind), he did a bad job mopping the floor apparently (the mop head broke and he spent 10 minutes fixing it), and he didn't break down the boxes that were only there because the fridge went out earlier that day and we had to buy all new stuff. such absolute bullshit. end of story.

so they hired me at The Oakmont as a server. today was great. I had a lot of fun using the posessed vacuum. and I think it helps that I've already been there for a month and pretty much all the residents know who I am. during lunch Agnes Sandrowski (I like to say her name with a really weird accent) called me over and told me that she can usually tell when a new server won't make the cut, but she said that I was "terrific!" haha. she's great, I love her. I pretty much like all of the residents.

so I'm gonna say that life is pretty good at the moment. as it always is.

Darjeeling Limited time!

a day in the life

so I'm now "volunteering" (aka my parents are making me) at the Oakmont 2 or 3 days a week. and the other 2 or 3 days I'm job hunting. today was a job hunting day. I have like 10+ applications that I need to fill out now. (this is mostly because of the alcohol poisoning shizz.)

so I picked Ryan downtown and we went to his house for lunch and we actually had a legitimate lunch, not a "college kid" lunch (aka snacky foods or going to a fast-food place). he made tuna sandwiches, cut up an apple, and heated up some of the food that he got from work last night. and it was yummy!

I'm tired but I love my life. :)

tonight was goooood night

I talked to Olivia for awhile and that was fun as always. we were thinking about the time when we were "webcaming" (is there an actual term for it?) and I told her that she looked pretty and she said "Thanks, I just ate some ribs." so damn funny. oh and we're amrriead (married) hahaha.

and then a few hours later I started having the most wonderful conversation with dear Jack via facebook chat. we talked about so much! we talked about hipsters (fake and real ones, and we cleared Nate Young as being genuine), blogs, journals, sex and our definitions of it, and just random things. I miss talking to him sometimes. he's a great guy and I love him.

I also had a nice conversation with the darling East Coast Ryan earlier this evening. I love that kid. I really do.

and I had an absolutely amusing as all hell "conversation" with Michael not too long ago. I'm leaving it at that.

a few other things:
1. I wanna go to Fat Camp haha
2. I'm in love with Glee and can't wait for the premiere next week
3. I'm going to the Island tomorrow and taking my cameras
4. Alexandrea's taking me home Friday thankfully. I've been down here far too long for my liking
5. I love life

old poems.

December 9, 2005
"Candace
-You are stupid
-You'll never get shot by Cupid.
-You can't rap
-You hang out with a gay chap.
-You make Jeff sick
-He wants to beat you with a stick.
-You suck at life
-Mr. A wants you to be his wife.
-You make deals with Mr. E
-Jeff wants you to go live in a tree.
-Candace, you're loud
-Jeff wants you to be chowed.
-Candace, SHUT UP!
-The End
By: Noah et Jeff"

December 18, 2005

"Banderbears like berries,

Banderbears seem scary.

But when you pull their rotten teeth

You no longer need be wary.

Banderbears are big,

Banderbears are fluffy,

Do they like Giant Peaches?

Hmm... now that's a toughy."

Sept. 7, 2005

"Math is hard,

It's like ugly white lard.

If you can't pass addition

Then you're under par.

Math can be difficult,

Math can be easy,

I love quesadillas

Because they're so cheesy!"

July 12, 2005

"Rocks are weird,

They can never grow a beard.

You should never hurt their feelings,

Who knows if they're queer?

Rocks are smooth,

Rocks are rough,

And they work out in the gym

So you know they're buff!"

June 18, 2005

"Moss is green

It isn't very mean.

It grows on rocks

And it grows on trees.

Moss is nice,

Moss is cool,

And it doesn't grow

In your swimming pool!"

oh my dear east coast ryan

+ (5:24:11 PM): so what up future wife?
+ we can be like steve carrell!
+ what are you gonna send me noodz? ;) haha
+ ill send you some ;D

- Come to san fran and well ride a cable car together

+ one that unwinds???
- that's the only kind worth it

cutest kid in the whole wide world right there

lines.

i need a thesaurus.

desperately. i almost bought one last night but decided against it. i don't know why.

I am in love with life.

it's beautiful. sometimes I take it for granted, but it really truly is amazing. I love it. God is good.

so I went to San Fran to see Becca today for a bit. that was fun. I took BART in and somewhere between Orinda and the Rockridge stations David Rowe randomly called me. I didn't answer b/c I was about to lose service, so I texted him "You called?" when I got to SF. I met up with Becca and we went to Rubio's b/c she was hungry. then David called again and I answered this time.
me: Hello?
David: Yes, Candace, I did call.
me: Why?
David: Where are you?
me: San Francisco.
David: Thank God you're safe.
and then he hung up.
I don't even know, but it was funny as hell. he's a strange one, but he's cute.

so then Becca and I did a little shopping and I got a cute shirt from Old Navy for like $2 b/c I had some money left over on an old gift card. a little bit after that I was hungry so I went to Panda Express while Becca got a table for us. I ran into Chris Dominguez and that was weird. we had biology together my freshman year and I thought he was so cute back then, but I'm pretty sure he was high today haha.
Chris: Hey, is your name Candace?
me: Yeah.
Chris: Do you remember me?
me: Yeah, we had bio together w/ Mrs. Marsters.
Chris: Yeah! I wasn't sure if you remembered me (and he couldn't stop laughing).
then some mindless banter about Mrs. Marsters and stuff. it was so random but it was cool.

then Becca had to go back to school and I BARTed back home and my dad picked me up. the first thing he said was "You weren't there very long. What'd you do? Go get laid and come back?" sooooooooo funny! my dad is ridiculous.

I really wish it had been cloudy and cool today, but oh well. I still love my city. and I wish I had worn more comfortable shoes b/c then I would've stayed longer and taken more pictures, but as it was, my feet were KILLING me. but I love San Francisco so very very much.

I've been genuinely happy for a solid year now.
that excites me.

good day for driving.

today was one of the best days I've had in quite awhile.

I drove alone for the first time ever today. it was marvelous. and I literally BLASTED AirOne the whole time. truth be told, I kind of miss going to church.
anyway, I went down to Chico, had lunch with Starshine, looked for jobs, killed my heels with my darn shoes, went downtown for a "tea date" with Ryan, went to Raley's for deodorant, and came home. I was only gone for like 4 1/2 hours, but it was a glorious 4 1/2 hours.
I seriously enjoy driving alone sooooooooooo much more than I do with people. and I think I prefer driving the truck now.
I even took long ways to get places today just because I love to drive.
and then I came home and mucked, cleaned my room, did laundry, cooked dinner.

I feel quite accomplished :]

yay :)

Courtney: Mr. Wallick wanted me to tell you hello.

me: Omg really???? :D

Courtney: Yeah. But Candace. Don't know who is talking...Which is kinda sad. But yeah. He was asking me all these questions when i mentioned you. Lol

me: Yeah, its me, candace. Omg, give me a play by play!

Courtney: Well i walked up to him to tell him that he didn't call my name on roll. And he asked me if he has had any of my siblings and i said yeah morgan. And he asked me what she was doing and i said going to school and living with you. And he was like Candace parker? And i was like yeah. And he was like asking me if you were still taking pictures and i said yeah and he asked me if you were going to school and i said you did last semester. And he asked if you took photo and i said I didn't know. And he asked what else and i said you were looking for a job. And he said that sounds great. And to tell you hi. Just wondering did you guys do it?

me: Did mr. Wallick and i do it??? Hahaha you know it :P and tell him hi for me too :)))) ill have to stop by sometime

Courtney: I figured. He practically got a boner when i said your name and he asked like 100 questions. I believe it.

me: Hahahahahahahaha thats hilarious! And wonderful!

I am sad.

Royston is leaving early Wednesday morning :[ his father is sick so he has to go back to England. he wasn't even here for two weeks. he was supposed to be here for seven. I'm going to miss having an adult to talk to openly about my life, not to mention all the tea. (I'll still make tea all the time, but it just won't be the same.) I'll miss his weird British humor and his accent (he thinks I do a pretty good one though) and all the weird things he says that we always have to ask him to repeat. I'm quite sad about it.

and also, I was thinking about it today and I really don't know how this whole job thing is going to work. my mum goes back to work tomorrow which means she'll have the car. which in turn means that I won't. so I have no idea.

also, Lindsey has basically been living with us lately, and Courtney is coming over tomorrow and staying for awhile I am sure. I love them all, don't get me wrong, but I miss the days of being an only child. two years ago I would have done anything to have them here, but now I long for my days of solitude. I was accustomed to being alone and I miss it.

oh, and Alexandrea and I are officially not talking anymore. and I am 100% okay with that. it was a long time coming.

8am everyday. for the rest of summer. yay.

yesterday we were all woken up at 8am. I argued with Starshine about it for awhile. that got me nowhere as usual. we went to breakfast at Cozy and then came back and started cleaning around 10:30. I didn't stop cleaning until around 11 that night. I cleaned out the drawers and cabinet in the bathroom, SCRUBBED the bath tub forever, folded some laundry and reorganized a couple of my drawers, and then had the genius idea to clean out my closet. I started that around 1 or 2 and worked on that the rest of the day. I got rid of a LOT of stuff. I also found some stuff that I might be able to sell on ebay.

today my mother was kind and let us sleep in until 8:48. we got up, ate breakfast, watched some tv, and then started cleaning. we moved all the stuff Starshine and Mum told us to move, put the shelves back on and the camera stuff on them, and while Morg and I mucked Lindsey did the dishes. after that I took a shower and took a nap for a few hours.
I woke up to my mother asking what I was doing and I said "I was taking a nap, that's not against the rules." she then proceeded to ask us to get the groceries out of the car and put them away. oh, and then she got mad at me for bleaching the velvet shower curtain (when I did I repeatedly asked her if she was sure she wanted me to bleach both shower curtains and she kept saying yes, so it's not my fault), then we had a bit of a break. after awhile she asked us to move a table, Morgan to vacuum, and me to dust (I dusted books, what the hell) and set the table. oh, I might mention that after my nap I woke up in a rather depressed mood. after I finished with the table I asked if there was anything else she wanted me to do and I my body language kind of portrayed an air of dejectedness (is that even a word? yes, it is) and she said "You look like you're going to cry," and Morgan said "You've looked like that all day."
truth be told, I feel like I could cry at any moment. I think it's just because I'm exhausted, nothing serious.

oh, and earlier Michael texted me and said "Ur never on aim now haha." and I told him "Yeah bc im really getting sick of the internet. Im considering getting rid of facedick (facebook). But you can normally catch me on really late." then he said "Then we have to txt our long stories! Haha" and my only response to that was "Or call. What a concept."

Carleigh Rae Rad

http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/?mId=30420351

amazing, no? hahaha

I'm so sick of the internet.

so sick of it.

"don't read to deep into a myspace profile. just because i checked a box that says i am not sure that i want kids, or i am divorced or single, doesn't mean i actually am. its that this is myspace. seriously. who devulges the absolute truth on here? do you see peoples pictures? do you not think that they took it from the best possible angle? isn't that a form of lying? your the one who bought into the whole online addiction. not me. to me it is still just another website. i am slowly finding the irony in honesty. you want to know everything but don't want me to open my mouth. when i pull skeletons from the closet you call me previously dishonest. what more do you want me to do? if i could pull open my chest cavity and reveal it to the world would it make you feel i was a better person. if i exposed my every secret to every person i encounter would it make you trust me more? i dont know how i feel about online gathering places of "friends", people sum you up by a profile, they get to know you without seeing your face. we dont have to form relationships using people skills, we just find someone with like interests and email them with no threat of rejection. people can be whoever they want to be on the computer. do you honestly think they look like that in person? do you really know any of these people? this is where life and fantasy cohabitate. reality sometimes hurt. but its called life, you cant live it behind a screen. be human, be vulnrable, be real, be hurt, be rational, be flexible, learn, grow, move on. be human once again. something i am trying to do."

-Stephen Christian

seriously. I'd much prefer to talk to someone face to face, or at least over the phone because that seems so much more real to me. I don't even know how to explain it, but the internet is kind of like an alternate universe to me. you can't tell how people are feeling through black and white words on a screen. body language is an important key in any and every relationship. you can tell when people are angry, sad, happy, any number of different emotions. but the only way you can tell any of these emotions online are through exclamation points and stupid little smiley faces. it's not real! I'd rather just sit in a room with someone for hours and get to know them by talking to them than reading what they typed and sent through the world wide web. I'd love it if the internet just died one day and we had to resort to the old-fashioned ways of communication. the telephone and snail mail. yes please.

$97.10

I counted the money in my tin again tonight :)

today is Katy O'Keefe's 19th birthday!

I had some strange dreams last night. I don't even know how to explain them. I was with some friends roller skating through a gated off area and I lolly gagged a bit and when I turned around to shut the gate the police came. they came over to me and I tried to explain what I was doing (I said I was picking a penny up off the ground) when all of a sudden I was really weak and pretty much collapsed into their arms. I couldn't open my eyes and even when I could I couldn't see well at all. they carried me into a hotel. I don't remember all what happened but something about an elevator and gold chandeliers and burgandy colored carpet. and I just know I was really weak. I'm unsure of how to explain it.

in another dream I dreamed about typing on a polaroid, with an actual typewriter. it was really neat looking so today I got a few of my polaroids and the typewriter and typed on them. I wish my scanner worked so I could upload them. they're really cool.

I'm a little obsessed with The Fray's "Heaven Forbid" at the moment.

I spilled water on my computer today. it might be dead, I'm not sure yet.

I cleaned my room a bit, so that's good.

I truly love my life.

I really do.

yesterday was the Lunch Buddies Disney Meeting at Jean and Greg's in Fairfield. Mum, Morgan, Lindsay, and I went down for it. it was awesome. it was really great to see everybody (even though I saw them 2 weeks ago at Jenny's wedding) and to visit and yeah. and for some reason all the kids there LOVED me. but that's fine b/c I absolutely adore kids and they were all cute and wonderful. I really can't wait to get married and start a family (but that's not going to be for awhile, hopefully). but I really don't understand WHY kids like me so much. it's always been that way though, even since I was younger. I don't get it, but hey, I'm not complaining.

I ran around for hours pretty much, water balloons and water bottles were involved, lots of thorns and stickers, foam swords, a polaroid camera, a soccer ball and damp grass, a trampoline, a field where I'm sure fairies live, bubbles, rolling golden California hills, the big blueness (the sky), and lots of fun and laughter. it was an absolute GREAT day.

silly times

hahaha, so looking back, the other night's fiasco is absolutely HILARIOUS.we went to an old high school teacher of our's house (Morgan's housesitting it) and we all got ridiculously drunk. we played "I've Never" and that screwed us all over. we were seriously totally fine, all of us maybe at a T2 at most, and then all of a sudden we ALL just hit the wall. like in the blink of an eye EVERY SINGLE PERSON was drunk. and we were all mad at each other. I yelled at Alexandrea a few times and I was seriously about to freaking punch her out. it was so bad. I ended up collapsing on the floor and having a little breakdown. it was just bad bad bad.

so I stayed up all night because I was too angry to sleep. somewhere around 4am Morgan and I went into the tv room and watched music videos. and I wrote some poems hahah. I was coming down but I was still drunk enough to write some decent poems inspired mostly by the music videos and occassionally some commercials.

last night we all just chilled in Chico and we ended up going over Alex's friend Ian's house and watching 28 Days Later. then we dropped Cela off and went to Denny's where our waitress played pirates with us (hence the journal title). then we came back up to my house (I was driving so incredibly slow b/c I was freaking exhausted) where we unfortunately found we were locked out. for some reason the garage door was locked and the back door too. my family's cool and we don't have house keys. so we decided to sleep in the car, but we were all freaked out by my property so we decided to go sleep in the parking lot at ACE Hardware b/c there were lots of lights. around 6 we woke up and Becca was drooling and thought we were in San Francisco because the windows were all fogged up. so we came home and waited for Starshine to wake up so we could get in the house.

we finally got in around 6:15 and crashed until 2 this afternoon haha. and tonight we're off to a hotel party in Redding. exciting? a little (;

4-6am drunk poems

invulnerable,
with the sunrise
the shutter opens,
you smile
rolling toward the dawn
flying, soaring
invulnerable
towering, you cower
keys old & worn
stuck, invulnerable
drawn are lines, circles
all coherent in a way
you stand alone, invulnerable
(Sarah Bareilles)

smoke & mirrors
it's how you work
flickering lights, trickery
you cheat, no matter
no longer numb, I hurt
running lines blur as we pass
bokeh, circles of city light
crashing waves sound,
wake me up from this misery
sand falling, forming
rosy cheeks in black & white
billowing around you
simple straps fall
rushing, racing, caring
like you never did
(Britney Spears, energy ad, some random chick, Kings Of Leon)

falling through the sky
the atmosphere presses in
about to implode
scarves tightly wrapped warmth
in our shaking bodies
neutral walls surround
bringing life
to a certain intensity
the rain falls, hot
humidity almost suffocating
breathing, breathless
(Parachute, band in a room with lights)

dazzling, you stand alone
beautiful, flowing, freezing
a white dress stuck to your skin
looking down, looking up
to infinity & beyond
symmetrical, chaotic
spreading, infectious
love me forever
love me never
-5:31am
(Carolina Liar)

your eyes, shards of ice
melting like softened snow
scripted lines
feel better for the moment
eight feet is all I have
-6:00am
(Rob Thomas, The Script, some band in a parking garage)

old texts I want to be able to delete

June 30, 2007, 9:15am: "Anberlin says: Anberlin Venrtura, CA Smartpunk Stage 3:45, Be there, bring your dancing shoes Reply STOP 2 quit- mozes.com

July 1, 2007, 8:58am: "Anberlin says: Good Morning sunshines from Mountain, VIew, CA. We're on the smartpunk stage today @ 7:15pm, come show luv Reply STOP 2 quit- mozes.com

July 19, 2007, 6:24am: "Anberlin says: Jax, Fl, 5:30pm Hurley DOT com, Anberlin hearts Little Tiny, come hang out, lets go fishing, then we party- http://mozes.com/anberlin
(OMFG!!! Little Tiny is Nate's now wife! that's amazing!!!!)

November 30, 2oo7, 6:50pm: ":-D U with anberlin? U freakin out?"
-Olivia

November 30, 2007, 6:56pm: "Sweet has jack called them?"
-Olivia

June 21, 2008, 9:51am: "Route 66 Stage: 10:30 Anberlin, ....." blah blah blah

January 13, 2009, 10:18pm: "Pst there is a duck above you"
-Kamran from my new phone

January 14, 2009 12:10pm: "Look... The palace... You can glimpse it. Through that hole. In the mosquito fog"
-me from the Embarcadero

January 14, 2009, 12:23pm: "What makes the city beautiful is the life that throbs in a thousand small ways to its heart. herb caen. sf chronicle nov 20, 1969"
-me from the Embarcadero

January 24, 2009, 7:32pm: "me and my friends are all in the car being like LOOK AT OLD GREGS MANGINA ahaha and were all like do u love [me]? could u learn to love me? it made me think of u :)"
-East Coast Ryan

February 7, 2009, 7:21pm: "Once bountiful the seas slowly empty. anne swardson"
-me from the embarcadero

March 7, 2009, 12:04am: "Kk, love you too
Nigh
T"
-Michael

March 23, 2009, 11:01am: "haha i was thinkin about u today and i just wanted to tell u.... F this place sick :)"
-East Coast Ryan

March 23, 2009, 11:40am: "i wanna break every clock
the hands of time could never move again"
-East Coast Ryan

March 27, 2009, 10:35pm: "8=D----O-:"
-Becca Kate

April 5, 2009, 6:48pm: "nahhhh ill mary u!"
-East Coast Ryan

April 16, 2009, 11:27pm: "I love you too!"
-Michael

April 22, 2009, 12:11am: "Haha aww :) I love you too. Good nigh
t"
-Michael

May 25, 2009, 3:33pm: "If you drive to my work, you can see all the cotton floating around and it could be a cool photo op"
-Nich

look up Nick Vujicic



ones that I've sent:

March 23, 2009, 11:42am: "We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives. I want someone to sing that to me one day"
-to East Coast Ryan

April 22, 2009, 12:08am: ":) i have to go to bed. Goodnigh
t michael. And i feel like i say this too damn much, yet not enough: I love you"
-to Michael

SF on a whim :)

Becca, Ryan, Morgan, and I were supposed to go to San Francisco today so Becca could sign up for her FIDM classes. unfortunately her loan didn't come through so the trip was basically off. but Ryan and I still really wanted to go so he was going to come over and spend the night and we were gonna leave early in the morning. so then the two of us were hanging out in Morgan's room and Ryan randomly suggested we go to the City right then. SO WE DID. we packed and we left around 12:45am. I think I fell asleep for a little while after we got gas in Williams (SCARY gas station w/ yellow lights). then I woke up around Vacaville? I think, not sure. Ryan crossed like 10 empty lanes at the toll booth for the Bay Bridge because he's dumb hahah. we got into the City a little after 4am. yeah. we drove around California Street for awhile (Ryan hit a rat!) and then we ended up at Coit Tower. we stayed there until the sun rose and then we tried going to the Golden Gate but Ryan was being dumb and yeah, hard to explain. so we ended up back downtown and left SF around 6.

we went back to Pleasant Hill to wait for Alexandrea to wake up. went to McDonald's and then Starbucks. it was around 8 when Ryan and I decided we were going to go stalk Mandy. so we drove to her school and decided to write her notes on lint roller paper and stick them to her window :D

after that I decided we should to go to Pittsburg and see my dad. he wasn't home but I got the spare key and went in and took a shower while Morg and Ryan slept on the couches. then my dad came home and made us hashbrowns and eggs for breakfast :D he gave me some money (thank the lawd!) and some strawberries and cherries. then we left for Alexandrea's where we waited for about an hour for Alexandrea and Jim to come back from Costco.

random stupid funny stuff:
- Quicklier
- FUCK THE C.H.P.!
- Morgan is from the Ukraine
- Potted (the act of "getting potted" aka getting high)
- Drunk off of highness
- Ryan spilling soda ALL OVER Morgan's pants so it looked like she peed herself
- WEPRAYZ

I officially enjoy Monopoly

last night Becca and Ryan were over and Becca wanted to play Monopoly like nobody's business. after an hour of listening to her talk about it, we finally decided to play. Morgan was doing really well in the beginning but things started to change in Ryan's favor; I had Boardwalk though. Becca was the first one to quit, Morgan following suit soon after. I stuck it out until the bitter end when Ryan finally got Boardwalk out of me and the last of my money. but it was really fun anyway.

Morgan, Wes, and I played British Monopoly with Pall Mall and Fleet Street and King's Cross Station. it was cool. we're pretty sure the dice were loaded though. we all rolled doubles and 7s and it was just RIDICULOUS. then Wes had to leave like 30ish minutes into it but Morgan and I kept playing.
+ I landed on Free Parking SIX TIMES
+ Morgan landed on it a few times and got $1,165 one of those times
+ I owned ALL the property except the orange spaces for awhile
+ Morgan and Wes went to jail soooooo many freaking times
+ Wes kept getting boned on all the Chance/Community Chest cards
+ I had to pay for repairs on all the my stuff ($40 for each house and $115 for each hotel) and that added up to $910
+ played for like 3 hours

too many options!!!!

1) original:


2) regular editing:


3) soft:


4) '60s:


5) cinema:


6) cross: |


7) duo tone:


8) focal b&w:


9) hdr:


10) holga:


11) infrared:


12) night:


13) orton:


14) posterize:


15) purple tint:


more so out of the ordinary

16) adjustable threshold (add):


17) adjustable threshold (overlay):


18) circle splash (add):


19) circle splash (overlay):


20) hex cells (add):


21) hsl filter (add):


22) neon :


23) pencil:


24) ripple blocks:


25) smudge (add): |

list of haircuts

imma cut my hair and I'm trying to figure out how to do it, so here's a list of possibilities

(I dyed it last night so it's a little bit redder, nothing too noticeable)

1) http://www.haircutshairstyles.com/short_razored_haircut-70.shtml

2) http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vYml0dGVuYW5kYm91bmQuY29tL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvdXBsb2Fkcy8yMDA4LzA0L2thdGllLWhvbG1lcy5qcGc=

3) http://lookbook.nu/look/60685-please-take-me-to-the-disco

4) http://lookbook.nu/look/104611-i-don-t-belong-here

5) http://www.women-hairstyles.com/images/asain-hair.jpg

6) http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vbWVkaWEucGhvdG9idWNrZXQuY29tL2ltYWdlL21hbmR5JTIwbW9vcmUvbW9yZ2FuODIyNi9tYW5keV9tb29yZTFfMzAwXzQwMC5qcGc=

7) http://justabouthair.com/medium-hair-style-/medium-wavy-layered-hair-styles.jpg

7 april 09

I really don't blog often enough.

Becca and I have our own little "show" on youtube :)
http://www.youtube.com/candyandbeccakate



I fell asleep on Heather's shoulder today in the library when I skipped class. I was out for a solid 30-40 minutes.



I got my 2nd issue of this photog mag Michael told me about :)



I FINALLY got my freaking rebate on my phone and my first purchase was this: https://www.audiblediversiongroup.com/VerdureStudio/design/2031
:D


I GET MY BRACES OFF IN THREE WEEKS!!!!! April 28th is the big day :D



I got my new glasses yesterday. they be helllllza legit ;)

I just don't understand

why.
I don't know why I still think about him, why I still wonder about things.
it's stupid!
I just hate that it's the closest thing I've had. it depresses me to be honest. all I want to know is why. I ask everyday and still don't know the answer. I don't know if I ever will.

on other topics, I'm very very VERY mad at Michael. seriously. if I could I would kick him hard enough to make him cry. he is so incredibly shallow. just like every other fucking guy out there. he claims to be a "sweetheart". my ass he is. he's gonna be the typical socal lawyer, have 5 different wives, and really snobby kids. all wives will be thin as rails with big fake boobies. he's so shallow. so shallow. I think that is the quality I hate the most in people.
so I don't know if I'm going to talk to him now. unless he apologizes, I'm done. he needs to grow up and realize that looks aren't everything. fuck him.

one last thing, Parker Young is perfect. end of story.

never realized how mascara BURNS

a little back story first I suppose.
so I think it was yesterday that Heather, Becca, and I were in the cafeteria at Butte and I was texting East Coast Ryan. we will text random anberlin lyrics and stuff and it's cool.
he texted me some "Inevitable" lyrics and I finished the line and told him that I really wanted someone to sing that song to me one day.

so today after dinner I was doing the dishes and then I came into my room and saw that he had sent me an IM.
rryy rryy (7:18:35 PM): guess what
rryy rryy (7:18:43 PM): i have something for you
he had signed off by the time I read it and I was like dangg. then I checked my phone to see if I had any texts and I did.
East Coast Ryan: ive got a present for u
I asked what it was and he said it's "a video its crap quality but i decided to make one just for u!"
he got on a little bit after that and sent me the video.

I opened it and pressed play. and guess what I hear? the beginning notes of "Inevitable" and I immediately just lit up. so he sang me the freaking song. amazing right?? so cute!!!! but then Olivia called like a third of the way through it so I paused it. after our 31 minute conversation about Labrador Lovin' in burning houses, I played the rest of it. and at the end when he was talking he had this really high pitched voice and it was just great. he also showed me random anberlin stuff and it was so amazing. it really really was.

so basically, that's pretty much the nicest, sweetest, most incredible thing anybody's ever done for me. and it made me cry tears of joy (I'm actually still crying hahaa) and it made my mascara run and oh boy does it BURN. seriously, the sweetest thing ever. oh how I adore this kid :)

oh, and yesterday he also texted me this: "haha i was thinkin about u today and i just wanted to tell u.... F this place sick :)"
(it's an Orphaned Anythings reference)
he is just amazing. can't help but love the kid for sure

my worst nightmare.

Gray and dark blue. The skies over the Pittsburg house were inky and overcast. It was dusk. I walked in through the front door. I was wearing a gray-blue dress. Family, friends, and former classmates were in the living room. Alex was there and the reason for why I was quite unaware. I was then informed that he and Alexandrea were in love and everybody was just 'so happy' for them. I was baffled; there was nothing I could say. Terri said that she hoped that Alexandrea would come back because she knew Alexandrea could "save Alex." From what he needed saving I did not know. The fact that I had been/still was in love with him didn’t matter to any of them. Not even to my own mother. It was like rubbing salt and pouring lemon juice over an open wound that had also recently been burned. I expressed my hurt and my anger and told everybody that this always happened; Alexandrea always took the ones I loved away from me and that I would always and forever be second best. But nobody would listen; I was “being irrational” they said. The support for the Alex/Alexandrea relationship was too much to handle. I ran out of the house bawling my eyes out in frustration and sadness.

It started to rain. As I was running around the front of my grandparents' house, it seemed as if time had slowed. My dress was softly fluttering around me in the wind from the storm. Suddenly I realized how dark it was and how frightened I was by the darkness. I decided to go back to my house and run upstairs to my parents' bedroom where I could go to bed crying. When I entered their room I heard something moving around on the far side of the room so I carefully and nervously turned on the bathroom light. I turned around to face the rest of the room and saw Joe Borrayo peeing on Starshine’s pillow and I was at a loss for words. I recalled that earlier Joe had said something about pulling pranks all day, so this had to be one of those "pranks". He had two friends there with him that I didn't recognize. I walked over to him as I explained why I was so upset and said that all I wanted to do was sleep, so I asked if he would please leave. I sat down at the foot of the bed when he handed me a cup of water and told me to drink it. I did. I told him that I desperately wanted to get away from there, away from the pain Alexandrea continued to cause me. He said that I could go back to his house for the night. I tried to get up from the bed to go with him, but I couldn't. I slowly started to realize he had drugged my drink and my only question was "Why?" The words of his response were foggy from the haze my drink had created, but he said something about carrying me and a photoshoot. I was glassy-eyed and almost unconscious when Melissa came into the room with a camera. I was bewildered, but I trusted Melissa and I trusted Joe so I didn’t ask any more questions. The darkness overwhelmed me.

$76.30

I feel like I haven't blogged in AGESSSS.

this past week was spring break. it was nice to be able to sleep in to say the least. but now I have a lot of homework to do and I haven't started ANY of it. I've just lost all interest in school. I really enjoy jazz dance though.

um, what else? oh, this past Thursday Jack, Talia, and I went down to Alexandrea's. that night we went to this 18+ indie club in San Francisco and it was SOOOOOOOO much fun. they had a projector on a wall that was playing clips of old movies, cartoons, music videos and it was just so classy and cool. we had a lot of fun to say the least.

the next day Jack, Talia, and I went into the city a little after 3 which meant we were a carpool going across the bridge.

first we went to the Haight and shopped at the Buffalo Exchange for awhile. I got this neat old Coca Cola jacket that once belonged to a Fernando Valanzuela (he had his name embroidered on it) and a couple of pairs of tights (I put on one pair b/c I was just wearing a dress and I was FREEZING). then we went to the beach and took pictures and that was amazing for sure.

then we went downtown and parked a few blocks away from Union Square and we happened to have parked next to an H&M, so naturally we had to go in. I bought this really nice dress and Talia bought a few things too. after that we walked through Union Square and had dinner at Lori's Diner which was kind of fun. we took pictures in a phone booth at the restaurant and also Jack and Talia played Mortal Kombat after dinner and it was hilarious.

then we walked back to the car and decided to go to Twin Peaks. I called Ryan for directions and we got there no problem. it was absolutely beautiful. and cold. and foggy. but beautiful nonetheless.

after that we went back to Annette's to stay the night, by the time we got back it was past midnight I believe. it was pretty crazy and I was exhausted.

we left around 3 the next day and played Padiddle all the way home. Jack almost got butt ass naked hahaha.

sooooooooooooooooooooo, I really don't know. I want to do something more than what I've got going on now. and it looks like I might be able to get back to shooting more now since I have my charger back. thank Jesus for that :)