October the Eleventh

this came to mind at 6 this morning

I've been standing in your shadow since we were kids

everybody always liked you more than me

everybody thought you were cooler than me

everybody tried to be your best friend

I never tried because I knew I couldn't win

I accepted the fact that I would never compare to you

I'm used to people telling me how amazing, how funny, how cool, how pretty you are

I always take the back seat

and for the most part, I'm okay with that

I'm accustomed to being second best in every relationship I've ever had

it gets tiresome at times, but I know I can't do anything to change it

I'm helpless, hopeless

I still love you

always have, always will

Oct.11 @
10:30 am: shower
1:00 pm: picked up Ginger and went to the junkyard
4:00 pm: went to my grandparents'
4:45 pm: went to Talia and Eva's and tried to go to the barn, didn't work
5:30 pm: went to the elementary school
6:30 pm: sat in Alexandrea's car to look at the pictures
6:45 pm: dropped Ginger off
7:00 pm: came home and got ready to go to Chico and uploaded some of the pictures
8:45 pm: went down to Chico and to Barnes and Noble
10:00 pm: met up w/ Alexandrea's friend Justin @ In&Out
11:45 pm: went to Justin's place

Oct.12 @
12:00 am: went to some party Becca was at
12:15 am: went to Pita Pit
1:15 am: Ian showed up :)
1:30 am: went back to Alec's house and chilled forever
4:00 am: took Ian to his dorm
4:15 am: went to Safeway to get Nich his damn coffee
5:00 am: went to Nich's (I played with his adorable cat Patrick Stewart)
6:15 am: went back to Justin's place
6:30 am: went out to sleep in the fucking car, thankfully I took a blanket with me8:05 am: Alexandrea woke me up and I thought she was drawing a penis on the window but she was actually writing "OPEN" hahahah
8:35 am: went to Has Beans in Downtown
9:45 am: left Chico
10:05 am: got home and put on some damn socks

WHY??????????