DVOR Basic Issue Development - Avoidance

Candace P.

DVOR Level 2, Tues. 6-8pm

11 June 2013

Basic Issue -  Avoidance

Avoidance in the simplest of terms is procrastination, or putting something off until tomorrow what you could get done today.  It may be waiting until the last second to take out the trash when the garbage truck is right around the corner, or ignoring the growing pile of bills on your desk because you’re afraid of how much they all cost.

I learned the art of avoidance from my mother when I was in preschool.  I remember coming down the stairs in the middle of the night to see her furiously working at the dining room table on an art project that was due the next day.  She is one of the best procrastinators I know; she can literally wait until the last second and come up with something brilliant at the drop of a hat, at least when it comes to artsy-type stuff.

Since I was a child I have always procrastinated doing school work.  In 5th grade I waited until a few days before a huge report was due to start working on it, and I spent a beautiful Sunday afternoon inside the house because of it.  I was a procrastinator throughout high school, and the majority of college, but I have become a lot better about getting assignments done in the past two semesters.  Sometimes I use avoidance to push off having discussions with others that I know need to happen, in hopes that the issue will just go away and I won’t have to deal with it.  Other times I pretend that my financial issues don’t exist in hopes that my debt will magically disappear.

Avoidance has caused me a lot of unwarranted stress.  Even though I’m ignoring the issue, it’s still there, and subconsciously I am still worrying about it the whole time until it gets dealt with.  I know that family and friends get annoyed with me when I don’t respond immediately to invitations of getting together; and if I ignore a situation that needs to be talked about and dealt with it just causes tension between me and the other party involved.

I have been working on this issue for a long time now and just remind myself about the golden rule:  “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”  I hate it when people don’t get back to me about stuff so I would like to show them the same respect and let them know either way if I am able to make a commitment or not. I also try to address an issue with another person when it arises by using assertive communication, instead of shoving it under the rug.  That way we can work it out and move on instead of feeling that awkward tension that accompanies unresolved conflict.  When it comes to school I really try to get my assignments done a few days before they are due instead of waiting until the night before to start them.  I started doing this last fall semester when I had to write a four page paper for my logic class:  I started writing the paper four days before it was due, and finished it three days before it was due; I had never felt better about not procrastinating in my life.  When it comes to money I try to check my account balance often to stay on top of the things I need to pay for and to not spend money that I should be saving instead.  It always feels better to deal with an issue head-on and get it over with than it does to put it in the corner and pretend it doesn’t exist, all the while it is watching you and waiting for its chance to pounce and make things even worse.