what I wouldn't give...

to be on an airplane

to be at the ocean

for rain

to be genuinely happy

today was a very interesting day for me emotionally.
my mom woke me up way too early for my liking (11am) to tell me I had an orthodontist appointment at 2. great.
so we picked up Melissa, went to Chico, had lunch, blah blah blah.
went to the ortho where I was informed that I still 8-9 months left in these damned contraptions. so basically by the time I get my braces off I will have had them for 4 years.
fuck me.

oh, and when Dr. McCarthy looked at my file she was like "Oh yes, you're the challenge case" and I was like WTF?!?!?!

then we went to Joann's Fabrics and I was DEAD tired and pissed off. my mom was annoying me and I almost starting crying. then we came home, watched some tv and then Deadliest Catch came on.
at the very end it said that one of the ships sank and the entire crew went into the water, but only 5 were lost. it was dinnertime and it took all I had in me not to start crying right then and there.
then after dinner I went to the bathroom because I was about to start crying, and I did a little bit, then I asked my mom if there was any way to get out of doing dishes tonight and there wasn't. so I came back in the house and started crying again.
I cried because of the dishes. who freaking does that?! well it wasn't because of the actual dishes of course, but still. it took me probably 40 minutes to do 15 minutes worth of dishes tonight.

yeah, I don't know. but Caitlin's amazing to say the very least. she seems to care a lot and that really means the world :D